Picture a girl, aout 3 or 4, who would watch her brothers climb trees with their friends. She would see how this made them excited as they would laugh and jump. So much she wanted to partake in the enjoyment and rush they seemed to be getting from being off the ground. So, one day, she decided she would go up. She found a tree with a low enough branch that she could start her climb. After she got a about 3 feet up, she turned around and made the mistake of looking down. Sure, she was not that high and could have safely gotten back down. But at that moment, she froze. Not able to move she called out to her father who came and rescued her.
This was my first experience with FEAR! I am not speaking of fear as in you saw a scary movie and worried the Boogeyman was coming. I mean that fear that stops you in your tracks and that taste of iron as it rises in your gut. Your heart feels as if it is going to jump out of your chest. This is what fear feels like.
As life went on, fear would hold me back from experiencing so much. Self-doubt would take over telling me all the reasons I should not or could not do things. That Boogeyman still leaning over my shoulder. Even writing this I can feel him beside me. Laughing at me as I attempt to get a point across on the topic of fear. Telling me I have no expertise on the subject and have not fully conquered him myself.
There is an acronym of fear that I once heard from a speaker at a conference that resonated with me. This was False Evidence Appearing Real. In other words, many times the fear we are feeling is not a valid emotion. Now, I am not saying there are times when fear isn’t real. If there is imminent danger, this can be the body’s way of warning us to steer clear. But other times, the mind can trigger that same emotion when there is no danger other than what we imagine.
How do we overcome this imagined Boogeyman hiding in the shadows? First, we must stop and think, is this fear rational? I real danger connected to it? If there is real danger, then of course move away. If the only danger is in our minds, ask yourself why am I feeling this? Is it self-doubt? Am I afraid of failing, or even in some cases succeeding?
If any of these are the cause of that Boogeyman, we should ask ourselves, “So what? So what if I am criticized or laughed at? So, what if I fail? So, what if I succeed? How would these occurrences change me? Maybe there will be a lesson to be found in the experience. Maybe nothing bad will happen at all.
But what will happen if you let that fear freeze you? Sure you won’t experience the bad, but how will you experience the good? How will you grow? How will you get past the what ifs?? How can you know what it can feel like to truly live?
Take that jump from the tree. Even if you break your arm you can say at least you made that leap and are no longer frozen calling for someone to get you out. Even if that jump is still too overwhelming, talk to friends loved ones, who are willing to advise you and jump right along with you holding your hand. Because letting fear hold you back never moves you forward through life. It only gives power to that fictitious monster who doesn’t need to even be in your life. Isn’t it time to take that power back and rid him from your life?